Life with Cesilia

This is a hard question. I've been in my thoughts lately. I haven't moved on. As I had stated in my precious post, earlier in this year I almost broke off my engagement. After a lot of conversations, we decided to keep trying in our relationship. It is up to me to see if I can really move on. It is really hard.  It is not every day that I think about what happened, but it is more than I would like to. I am struggling with the idea of, is this really how I want to live the rest of my life? To not know that I wouldn't fully trust this person. To have that self-doubt if they are doing it behind your back again. What if they are smarter about it and I won't ever find out. If they are thinking about another person as we are intimate because I'm not good enough.  Not every day is bad. We have our laughs and enjoy each other company. As if nothing ever happened. Some days I'm even affectionate. I even feel love for my fiancé. These are the days that I feel like I have

A lot has happened since my last post. Started the year with Covid, almost ended my engagement and went back home to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom. I know, ending my engagement was a big one but one day I'll dedicate a post on what happened. I'm not ready to make that part of my life public yet as I'm still healing. It's crazy to think that we are halfway of the year but where did it go? Life is literally flashing before our eyes. As I write this, I can say that I am okay. I am on week 2 were I feel that my anxiety and depression has been under control. June has been good to me so far. I've felt motivated to take care of myself.  This post is very short, but I just wanted update a little on my life.