Life with Cesilia

 Before I moved to a different state my father said "ahora si me voy a morir porque quien me va a llevar al hospital'. That sentence translates to "I am going to die now because who is going to take me to the hospital ". At that moment that I heard him say that I laughed about it and said "dad you can just call 911". His statement just really caught me off guard that I processed it afterward and I couldn't help but cry for a couple of days. The feeling of guilt that still creeps up on me from time to time still lingers. That was my dad way of showing his emotions and what he thought to the fact that I am leaving them. From another person perspective what he told me is not okay. Why would my father tell me such a strong statement knowing he has 6 other kids that will do anything for him.  He will never know the damage he did by telling me those words. He ruined my happiness that I could've had  in this new state with my fiancé. I do forgive my dad fo

Everyone says that you won't fully know your significant other until you live together and they are correct. Arguments when you don't live together to when you live in the same household are different. When a couple argues in their household there's always the possibility that it will turn physical. This was my fear when I moved in with my fiancé since he is the only person I know in this state. If my fiancé were to hit me I would feel stuck because I wouldn't have my family to rescue me. When my fiancé and I started to have our first arguments I was scared he was going to turn abusive. Part of me knew my fiancé would never put his hands on me but there was a small amount of doubt in my mind. I've come to learn that my fiancé will never put his hands on me. Even when we have disagreements he is respectful towards me and always so gentle with my feelings. My fiancé and I have a lot more years ahead of us but I get peace in mind knowing that he loves me way more than