Holidays Blues

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 I feel sad. I miss my family. The other day we went to a family dinner with my fiancé family and I have never felt so lonely in my life. In that moment I just wanted to cry because I just felt that I didn't belong. It was 5 of us in a table that sits 6 so I was in the middle with no one in front of me. I realized that this is the first year that I am not going to spend it with my family. My fiancé family is very nice but Ill rather be with mine. For Christmas we were supposed to be in Chicago but those plans failed and honestly I am kind of happy they did. With the sadness that I'm feeling I would have been sad at night. Yesterday I spoke with my sister and I was so happy because I had missed her a lot. At night I felt really sad again because I felt that lonely feeling again. I hope this feeling goes away soon. 

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